The purpose of Blueprint is the development of self-awareness; awareness of what drives us as people, the needs and expectations within our relationships, and how and why things can become dysfunctional and even dangerous.
In short, it helps a women understand herself, while gaining insight in her relationship with an abusive partner.
The awareness gained by carefully working through the program, can enable you to become conscious of your own needs; these needs are the drivers in relationships.
It’s vital that you gain some clarity around yourself and your relationship. This can be difficult, as abusive behaviours in a relationship cause drama, misperception and confusion. Also, when you are living with abuse you are not yourself, you are not thinking clearly and your emotions are overly aroused.
After a while, you can become someone just ‘living with abuse’. And you can still be ‘living with abuse’ even after leaving the relationship, or even years after.
By becoming more aware of your needs and how they may be being manipulated, you gain perspective and understanding.
This understanding brings about some emotional and mental space with which to view your relationship from a more detached perspective. This awareness can help you to move on whilst developing tools and techniques to leave the past where it needs to be and focus on potential future changes.
Whether you are in the relationship or have left, awareness of what happened is vital. This is because by becoming conscious that you are in a dangerous and dysfunctional relationship, you begin the process of de-legitimisation of the behaviours, and take the crucial first step in making a very personal and real choice about what you wish to do.
Without this awareness, you will be tempted to reframe the incidents as ‘one offs’, just the same as any other couple, just the way we are or even ‘maybe I need to change’, ‘maybe it’s because of me’, ‘I need to stay because of the children’, ‘no-one will believe me’, ‘It could be worse’ - and an endless list of minimising and denying.
You may have left the relationship but wish to gain some closure. You may have started a new relationship and feel ready to address the past.
Ultimately, with the best will in the world from others, the only person that can change your situation is you.
You will only do this when you realise that firstly something is wrong with your relationship and secondly that maintaining the status quo is more painful than beginning to make changes.
Please realise this: staying in an abusive situation never works. Ever. It can only get worse.*
Blueprint will help you understand:
The material in the program has been successfully utilized by many women that we have worked with in group and individual settings. Like anything it’s not a miracle cure, and it will take courage and work to get the results. You are exploring yourself after all, and that isn’t a walk in the park, as you can become conscious of things about yourself that you hadn’t even considered.
But it is a journey you can begin, and the abuse that you have lived with can act as a catalyst for genuinely positive change.
Finally, you may say with some justification, why should I be doing the work? Surely my partner needs to do the changing as they as they displaying the abusive behaviour.
It’s a valid argument.
But waiting for them to change could last a life time, as they may never want or see the need to make changes. So we can only say what we say to everyone we work with – take responsibility for your own life, make the choice to become aware of what is going on using Blueprint as a guide and be truthful to yourself with what you find.
It’s a difficult but worthwhile journey you can begin now, and the abuse that you have lived with can act as a catalyst for genuinely positive change.
* If the abusive partner is willing to get professional help, and honestly spends time and effort working with these professionals to make genuine changes to their beliefs and subsequent behaviours, then there is some hope. But without this long term professional intervention things will not change no matter what they say.
Our New Online Wellbeing and Mental Health Units are now available
Mental Health & Wellbeing Awareness for Front Line Support Professionals £25
Understanding Mental Health & Wellbeing Awareness for Front Line Support £55
Contact us for details
BLUEPRINT ONLINE PROGRAMMES
Blueprint offers 2 programmes for professionals wishing to work with or work more effectively with men or women, who are living with, or have lived with, abuse from their partner. You may be a professional who works with families, you may be working in a supportive role with an individual within a family and want to develop more awareness on how to engage men or women to address their own personal issues.
Blueprint also offers 2 programmes for individual men and women who want to become more aware of their situation and develop tools and techniques to help themselves and move on if they wish to after living with abuse from current or past partner.
These programmes can be used together in a supported environment between a professional and an individual if they wish to do so, to support each other and encourage open communication and learning from both sides on impact on living with abuse and how professionals can support you in your choices and become more aware of what help and support is available.
To purchase please visit:
For Individuals men or woman living with abuse click below
For Professionals looking for high quality CPD with up to date resources for working with men or women click below
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Get to see who we are, what we offer and what the programmes are all about .. click link below
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PEER TO PEER NETWORK - SUPPORTING THE SUPPORTERS
We meet once a month, come and join us. Email tammi for details